Most men get burned in the first 4 seconds.
In 4 seconds you go from looking at someone, to forming a thought about them, to choosing whether you will look again, to choosing whether you will dwell on them in your mind. If that “someone” is attractive, and you’re a guy, those four seconds can lead to lust…fast. Call it “fast-lust” – it’s a quick downward spiral into disconnection with God because sin has conceived in your heart.
Count it off for yourself and you’ll agree: The glance…one-thousand-one…the thought…one-thousand-two…the second look…one thousand three…the dwell…one thousand four. It happens that fast, and it often doesn’t end at four seconds.
But there’s a way to short-circuit that pattern: Avert your eyes. Look away. Don’t look twice.
Job said, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” (Job 31:1) Why did he say that?
If you think about it, it all starts with the look. Well, it really starts with a decision about what you’re going to do with the look, because you can’t always control what you see the first time. But you can definitely control whether you look again, as well as what you do with the thoughts that form from that look. What Job is saying is that he made the decision ahead of time, before the young woman came into view. The decision not to look lustfully at her was therefore pre-determined. He couldn’t control that there might be an attractive young woman who crossed his path in the course of a day. But he could control what he did with his eyes after the first glance. And he explains why he made the covenant with his eyes two verses later (Job 31:3)…because lust = wickedness, and wickedness = disaster.
I’ll speak for myself here – but I can usually tell someone is attractive before I ever look their way. And so I’ve implemented an even greater form of protection for my eyes – and that is not even to look the first time. That prevents the temptation to look twice, because I’ve avoided looking once. Now it’s taken some time to develop this discipline – but it keeps me out of trouble, and with practice it has almost become a reflex. Attractive woman approaching = look the other way. Seem extreme? Maybe. But desperate times call for desperate measures. And these times are desperately filled with sexual images and women that like to flaunt their beauty and bodies, and I don’t want to be hamstrung by sexual sin that hinders my connection with God.
Have you ever referred to a woman as “eye candy”? If so, you’ve likely lusted after her. Think about it. You don’t just pop candy, wrapper and all, into your mouth and swallow it. You unwrap it. You savor it. You think about the taste. You enjoy it. Then you swallow it.
Anyone you think of as eye candy has become an object of lust to you. Let me say right here that if you’re married, I hope you consider your spouse to be eye candy – and that you savor them regularly. That’s candy that won’t rot your spiritual teeth.
So why is lust so bad for us? Because lust is sin. And sin disconnects you from God, even if it is temporary. Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” The pure see God because they haven’t been separated from Him by sin.
I want to see Him in everything, every day. So I’ve decided to avert my eyes. Of course I’m not perfect. But when I miss it, I repent and make the covenant again.
Seconds matter, because seconds turn into minutes, hours, days, years and lifetimes. If we can stop sin before it starts, we stand to gain a lifetime of purity, a lifetime of seeing God. Break the pattern. Avert your eyes.
Image credit: George Hodan – publicdomainpictures.net
Wow, you have just nailed it on why men fall into lust on a daily basis. I too made a covenant with my eyes many years ago. Many times my peripheral vision tells me there is an attractive female approaching and I am able to literally grab my eyes, as it were, and focus them somewhere else. Satan continues to tempt me to look but I have to battle him. The battle is short because I do not entertain his temptation. The Sword of the Spirit is my weapon. It has become easier and easier to resist over time because, as you said, I made the decision long ago to not look – a covenant. Praise God for young men like you who bear the standard for your generation. I’m sure many men will follow your lead because they know it CAN BE DONE with God’s help!
You are an example of purity to me and to my generation, and evidence that it can be done after almost 44 years of Godly marriage. Thank you for winning the battle so I can follow!
Your challenging blog is right on the money. That second look is the “conscious look”, the one we can choose to eliminate in the power of the Holy Spirit. I will admit, my flesh wants to make that second look; my fleshly eyes want to see it and my fleshly thoughts want to dwell on it. But like you said, it is candy that rots my spiritual teeth. And it is poisoned candy! As long as we think it is not very harmful, we don’t understand why it is so important to eradicate lust. But I have seen first-hand how it leads to death and destruction. Your encouragement to now move from “eliminating the second look” to “eliminating the first look” is so good! There is a curiosity that is persistent and hard to overcome, but just like with the second look, I believe it is possible with Christ. And your blog spurs me on to continue that pursuit!
Years ago I had an evening were I was home alone in bed, struggling to push some lustful thoughts out of my mind. Then James 4:7 came to my mind: “Flee from the devil and you will be able to resist him”. So in my mind I started fleeing. But then, wait a minute, I suddenly realized that was not right. “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” is what is says! So instead of fleeing, I starting resisting. Literally within seconds, the enemy was gone. I had never seen anyone flee with so much haste.
Great admonition, Edgar! Resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7). Take your thoughts captive in obedience to Christ (2 Cor 10:5). Make a covenant with your eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman (Job 31:1). These are effective weapons because they are the Word of God, the Sword of the Spirit. Jesus used it all 3 times he was tempted by Satan – It is written, it is written, it is written. That’s a powerful 1-2-3 punch.